Using the Conspiracy Tarot Spread on Jeffrey Epstein

What the Conspiracy Tarot Spread Revealed about Jeffrey Espstein
After news broke that the DOJ and FBI had concluded there was no Jeffrey Epstein client list, I decided to pull out my Conspiracy Tarot Spread and see what the cards had to say about the latest chapter in one of the most controversial stories of our time.
I love a good conspiracy. Of course I do. Sagittarius rising, Pisces sun, Aries moon. I was basically cooked up in a cosmic lab to be a firecracker who pokes holes in official stories. Mulder is my spirit animal. The truth is out there. I am absolutely that person in a tin foil hat who scrolls through declassified CIA documents at three in the morning. Probably was in the GATE program too if anyone ever bothered to check.
So we’re talking Epstein. Holy baby Jesus, what a shitshow. The media says there’s no list. Apparently, that means it just poofed out of existence. Sure, sounds legit. The real story has claws, though. You and I both know that.

I made a tarot spread specifically for this brand of late night paranoia. The Conspiracy Spread. It’s simple, direct, absolutely nosy, and it helps pull receipts straight from the universe. You can find the full spread, examples, and a demo reading on my blog.
Grab your popcorn. This is what the cards had to say about Epstein.

The Official Story: The PR Spin
The first card is the official narrative. This is the press release, the talking heads on cable news, the frantic nothing to see here energy.
Five of Cups.
Someone is pissed and bailing on their own disaster. This screams fragile orange egos. The ones who build entire mythologies around themselves so nobody peeks behind the curtain. The narrative has to stay neat so the real rot stays hidden.
The Hidden Agenda: The Fuel Behind the Circus
Next is the hidden engine driving this mess.
Five of Pentacles.
Fear. Loss. People clutching their power, terrified of watching it slip away. The stakes are high, and the desperation is thick. My pug even started barking during this part. Cosmic fact check. Nobody here wants to lose their cushy setup.
The Messenger: Who Controls the Story
Who is pumping this out to the masses, and why does it feel so slippery
High Priestess.
Classic greater good nonsense. Someone thinks burying all this is righteous and noble. The High Priestess is slippery like that. Hidden in plain sight. The kind of thing that eventually breaks through when the universe gets bored of secrets. This always leaks.
The Cover-Up: What Gets Buried
Three of Swords.
Heartbreak. Real people get gutted by this. Last time I pulled cards on Epstein, this one showed up like it was on payroll. This is about protecting certain illusions. Families that would implode if the truth came out. Husbands with secrets. Wives in denial. Mistresses with hush money. The crumbling circus of traditional family values holding hands with dirty secrets.
The Truth: The Ugly Core
The deck decided two cards were better than one.
Four of Wands and Nine of Wands.
This is loaded with very married, squeaky-clean-on-the-surface people doing grimy things. Four of Wands is weddings, unions, neat social boxes. Nine of Wands is that beaten up truth, hanging on by a thread, still clawing for daylight. The energy is relentless. This refuses to stay hidden forever.
The Bigger Picture: The Underlying Game
Six of Pentacles.
Money runs this. Blackmail, campaign donations, and quiet checks passed under fancy tables. This machine is fueled by cash. Everyone’s hands are filthy.
The Outcome: How This Unfolds
Ten of Cups.
Eventually, the truth oozes out. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. One day though, the whole filthy guest list blows up. Everyone gasps. The milk-and-toast darlings get exposed. The collective clutches pearls and pretends it never cheered for these people in the first place.
So there it is. A messy little tin foil hat moment courtesy of my tarot deck. Want to pull the spread and watch your own cards talk shi? The full Conspiracy Spread is on my blog. Go stir your own pot and tell me if your deck throws shade, too.



















